New Chapter

posted by Mary Lello, Friday, May 7, 2010, 10:30 AM

Jim died this morning, May 7th, at 3:30 a.m. He went in his sleep and we all feel it was very peaceful and pain free.

It's odd to sit in Hospice for 5 days, waiting, asking the doctors if they can tell how much longer, waiting some more, loving, caressing, whispering into his ear, knowing this is what we are all waiting for and yet .... when there is no longer a breath remaining in the lungs, no longer a beat to his heart it still came with a gasp from me and feeling of disbelief in some ways.

I guess we can never prepare for this moment, this loss.

I'm not sure what I'm feeling this gorgeous spring morning. Numb comes to mind. I think this next phase is going to hurt .... a whole lot ... as I pick up these pieces and begin to look at a whole new life, my life, without this gorgeous, wonderful, exciting, crazy man, Jim Daniels, with me.

A death in the family .... a death OF a family.

The immediate ceremony will be small with just "family". But then there will be a party, of course. A BIG party and Jim would want it to have music and dancing and laughing and telling stories of some crazyness that you and he may have done together. The details are not created yet, but we will keep you posted ... the drums will beat and you will know where and when. Perhaps by the end of this month or first of June.

Thank you all, for your prayers, your thoughts, your seeing rainbows and holding Jim at the end of it, for your love and your support over this last week as well as this long 15 month journey.

Loving you all back, deeply,

Mary