Thursday, November 22, 2012

Thanksgiving 2012

Mt. Abraham, Maine
I have a couple friends on Facebook who have been posting their gratitude for the entire month of November.  Each day a new "I'm thankful for ... " would appear as Paula's post.  It was a wonderful thing to see each morning when I would log onto that sight.

My favorite teacher from high school, who was my band director, my ski-team coach and the builder and designer of the sets for the school musicals lost his wife to cancer just two days ago.  Still he has posted his "thank you's" to all who showed up for them, all who raked leaves, cooked, sat with them and sent their prayers.  I'm sure this day has a huge hole in it for him that no amount of food will ever fill.

And we can only be thankful for all that love we once had, were blessed to be part of, that continues to exist in us, around us, even when that person has passed from this life.  All that love does not pass, it hovers and continues to bless us as we struggle to find our way in a whole new world.

I too have so much to be thankful for; a family that is whacky and wonderful and whom we all still just love to gather with each other.  My 90 year old mum who is still sharp as a tack and needs no assisted living even as she gets a bit unsteady.  The man I spent 35 years with who showed me how to love, taught me what friendship is and what a deep and everlasting love can be.  And because he loved me so well I was able to open up and accept a new love;  the bar had been set very high and I'm incredibly grateful that I have not needed to compromise in any way ... Dave is an amazing man and has moved in matching me, stride for stride.

With Dave comes two wonderful boys, David and Eben, and all the Lovejoy clan as well as his huge list of friends, all who embraced me so quickly and already I feel like family in this new circle.

I'm grateful that my sisters-in-law, Donna and Stacie, remain my sisters ... regardless of the law!  They have always been and will continue to be family though we share no genetic codes.

As I sit here smelling the turkey, the woodstove glowing and creating a comfortable warmth in our little home I realize how incredibly rich I am ... there is an abundance of food, there is warmth, there is love ... so very rich.

Thanks giving.  I am grateful and thankful beyond earth and sky.

May we all remain open in gratitude, every day.

Loving you all back,


Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Heading Into the Storm

This morning I took a run in shorts and a t-shirt.  Maine, in November, is not suppose to have balmy weather.  It's a little eerie.  This day is gray and threatens a change.  A half mile from my house I realized I was running straight into the storm; the sky was black, the wind was picking up and I could see the rain up ahead.  I told myself if I saw lightening I would turn around and sprint it home.  But instead, I put my head down and kept running straight into it.

And this is too perfect for my life this week.  There is a storm brewing for me around relationships.  No, not my relationship with Dave nor is this about Jim;  I am being called into my feminine power, asked to respond to the feminine relationships in my life.  And as I turn to do this I realize I must settle into my own warrioress ... who tends to ask more of me than others, asks me to open my heart, to find strength in the compassionate and to be honest with myself.

I don't always like her ... she tends to be tough.  She tends to be right.  And she always teaches me something.

As I ran into this storm this morning I found myself opening up, lifting my bowed head and unfolding to the rain, the wind, the power.  This is what I am being asked to do, to unfold and open myself up to receiving my lesson.  To step into "not knowing"; a place of not needing to understand it all, not grasping any one emotion as the gamut floods through me of pain, disappointment, sadness, anger, confusion.  To just let all this flow around me and through me and remain open to the wind and to listen for the information that may descend for me.

It's interesting that before this personal storm struck, my friend, Kim, called and asked me if I wanted to go see the psychic, Tracy.  My niece, Molly, and I had talked about going to see Tracy again.  I had not made the call, procrastinating even when I know it can take several months to get in to see Tracy.  When Kim called and said there were back-to-back appointments if I wanted to go with her on Friday the 16th I thought, "well now,  I guess I'm suppose to go sooner verses later." So I agreed.

And then my life's shit hit the fan.

I feel that even when the Universe slaps me around a little bit, putting challenges before me so that I might grab the lesson and, ultimately, to find growth in all of this, it also offers me tools that I may need.  Perhaps, I won't have to figure all this out by myself this time.

Loving you all back,