I want to explain the name of the blog "SOLO". I chose this name for two reasons. When I first met my husband of 31 years, Jim, he had an eight year old golden retriever named Chelsea. He got her when he was a 19 year old college kid. When Chelsea was young and came into her first heat Jim bred her. This first litter only produced one little puppy. Jim named her Solo. I always loved that.
The other reason I have chosen this blog name is because I read this book years ago titled SOLO. It is a collection of short essays written by several different women who were challenged to identify an activity that, if they were to do it alone, would throw them in a lot of fear. One woman wrote about taking a backpack trip by herself and all the fears that came up for her in doing this. Another woman wrote about spending a weekend in New York city and the fear of navigating around by herself.
I admit the backpack is NOT a fear of mine. I've done that many times but traveling in a big city by myself is a huge, huge fear for me. I remember after I read this book I thought about other fears I might have if I was alone and the biggest one was if my souls mate, my best friend, my partner in life, Jim Daniels, was to die and I would have to face this life all alone.
Jim died on May 7, 2010 from a glioblastoma, brain cancer, that he fought like a true warrior for 16 months. And I am now solo in this life .... and writing my essays about it and facing my biggest fear.
This blog is the first step in sharing with anyone else who may be going through this now, who must face this same fear. Or for anyone who has thought how they might not be able to live if they lost their loved one .... but live we do. And I find myself with no other option - I have to face this fear of being solo.