Goals

posted by Mary Lello, Tuesday, February 3, 2009, 4:51 PM

I love looking at the pictures. I think it's my favorite place to hang on this website. I love the newest posts, which are of Jim at the Stupid Bowl party on Sunday night. He looks pretty alert and bright eyed considering how tired he was. In fact, in one picture David Puelle looks more like the brain tumor patient!! (David, I'm just kidding).

And the picture with JIm holding the camera up and snapping a "moment" is one of my favorites. We have so many pictures in our family album of Jim doing just that. It's what he does. It's always been his passion and I have put my goal out there - that he will be able to go out and capture those moments through his eyes again.

So we had a good football party. And even though I really wasn't too involved with either team (I like the Pats) I was cheering for the underdog and they did an excellant job of offering great entertainment. Isn't that what sports are after all? Just entertainment! But we were out of our seats and screaming at the t.v. hoping for that ONE GOAL that would win the game. And our underdog ALMOST got it - but the Steelers were superior and they achieved that final goal with mere minutes left and won the game.

I ask Jim what his goals are each day. And each day he talks about wanting to push himself a little further and a little harder. "To ride my bike for 35 minutes instead of 30", "to take a longer walk today". And today he achieved both these goals.

I was asked today by a very wise and wonderful woman "how have your emotions changed around Jim with all of this?" Wow. I didn't really know how to answer. But I've been thinking about it all day. I realize just how much I love him. He's an amazing human being and truly my best friend. And I'm seeing Jim stripped down to his very essence now. And that man is incredibly sweet, compassionate and intelligent.

That man also likes to set goals. Knowing him for 29 years I realize he has always done this they just were bigger then they are today. But what always struck me about Jim, when I was first getting to know him, was how he would say he needed to change something and then he would. Or that he wanted to do this or that, and although it seemed impossible at the time, Jim could always pull it off. Always.

And I realize I may freak out when he needs to stand in the shower instead of use the shower seat, or he has to do a simple task without my help and will gently push me away so that he can do it. And this is Jim. This is all part of setting those goals, rising to that challenge and then doing it.

And I also realize it is this kind of determination, this kind of goal setting and initiative that will help him survive this. It is the will to get on that bike again today and ride for 5 minutes more then yesterday. The will to walk in a straight line and the joy he expresses when he does that without anyone holding onto him that is just his spirit. And I so want to honor this spirit. Because it's so strong and so pure and it's rising to meet one of the biggest challenges of his life.

And the goal to win this one is one of the most important ones there is.

Loving you all back,

Mary