posted by Mary Lello, Friday, February 20, 2009, 6:19 AM
I think the hardest part of writing these "blogs" is coming up with a new and creative subject! The subject for today is Fridays. Fridays are hard. A week of radiation begins to build up for Jim and he gets kicked a little harder on Fridays then the other days. This means Saturdays can be hard too, but at least he gets to sleep in a bit and sometimes I even give him a day off from all those damn supplements on Saturday. By Sunday he's usually feeling a bit better and it's back in the microwave on Monday morning.
The last radiation treatment is March 5th. As much as we are looking forward to this being over I'm a bit nervous about this too. This is the only treatment they really have to beat back these cancer cells, to shrink and to destroy the tumor. So I'm hoping for a perfect score from all this toxic shit.
Or I should say this is the first line of attack - there are some drugs out there now that are doing some wonderful things in keeping these glio blastoma's from growing back. And we are gonna get us some of those after the radiation ends! We see Dr. Weisburg again this morning so I plan to discuss with her getting us back down to Dana Farber or what she thinks our next course of action will be. We trust her and truly feel she is going to help us do or get everything that is out there right now to try and give Jim a longer life .... they rejoice about a man with a glio who is now 3 years out. Three years. And I thought Jim and I might live to be old together .... and there is the hope and prayer that we will have this opportunity but our reality, and our concept of mortality is definitely different these days.
What is really wonderful though is when I get home from working a few hours and see Jim and I ask him how his day went and he always says "it was a great day!". And this is what happens when you have your death standing to your left - always our constant companion from the time we're born really - but when you have cancer you can feel that presence just waiting. So, yes, EVERY day is a GREAT day. And this is an amazing gift really. To feel this, to know this, to live "each day as if it was your last". Such a cliche, but when you are actually living this way it puts a different spin on each day, each moment, each wonderful breath.
We go down to Lexington to see Dr. Belanger again today. Todd, our ever faithful chauffeur, is driving and Mick Cochran who is up visiting from VA will also come along for the ride. It has been so wonderful to have Mick here this week. We go back a long way with the Cochrans when we all lived in Rhode Island (Rude Island as we called it), to an era that was just wild and wooly; MTV, skinny ties and big hair days. And Mick and Judy were always too much fun to be with and both their boys were equally silly and crazy. So we've had a lot of fun reliving stories and remembering characters from the Providence Journal staff with Mick. And believe me these stories and characters would make a hilarious book - and I wouldn't have to make any of it up!
Mick has been amazed by our astounding community that surrounds us, supports us and loves us so deeply. It IS astounding ... but this is a subject for another "blog".
So it's Friday, another bluebird day out there with a light dusting of white snow and a deep blue sky and an adventure ahead of us as we journey into another "great day".
May you all feel a little bit of this for yourselves too.
Loving you all right back!