Oh this new love is so interesting to me. After being with Jim for so long it can feel crazy to be starting this ride anew. But it's exciting and I'm realizing that I have a chance at a clean slate here; I am witnessing old patterns in myself and realize that I have the chance to change some of them.
Jim and I were best friends, we had a great relationship and a love that many only hope for. But we weren't perfect; we had our struggles and our little itchy things that got under the skin and irritated each other. Of course, any relationship is going to have this but I have begun to notice how some of these itchy things of mine might not have had anything to do with Jim.
Oh, how I want to apologize to Jim for these kinds of things; my stupid behaviors that created unloving moments. But Jim and I always believed that these bodies house our soul and in this imperfect world, as imperfect beings, our spirit is here to evolve; to learn and to grow spiritually.
So, here I am in this new relationship and I have caught myself on a couple occasions wanting to blame this man for some things ... but I don't go there. I do not want to repeat this old pattern. I want to allow the next wave to come in and wipe this etching from my shoreline. To clean the slate and start afresh and not continue into this old 'needing to blame someone' pattern.
I like to think that Jim has already forgiven me and is somewhere smiling at all this.
Loving you all back,