Friday, December 25, 2009

I believe in magic

posted by Mary Lello, Friday, December 25, 2009, 7:00 AM

Christmas morning and we are in Glenwood Springs with Stacie and the Grays. It's been a good trip so far and Jim is doing very well considering the major changes in his routine.

He's shed a lot of tears. He cried yesterday as he got ready for his morning nap and I got ready to go for a run up into a canyon that he and I always loved to run up. I tell him it's just as hard for me to be going without him as it is for him not being able to come. But I carry him with me on every single run. Yesterday morning I could see him up ahead of me, still running straight up the steep pitches when I have to stop and walk due to the altitude. I never understood how he could do that but he was always so strong, so beautiful in his stride and broad smile.

I walked into our bedroom yesterday looking for JIm and he was sitting on the bed crying. This is NOT easy. Even though it is so wonderful to be here and being with his sisters is pure joy for him it just sucks that he can't converse with everyone. As you all know, Jim always has a lot to say.

But the good news is he keeps trying. Even when it's just jibberish that comes out he's TRYING and as long as he keeps doing this the more his brain will wake up and say "OK, lets make these connections happen then".

I believe it WILL happen. I believe in magic.

December 25 and we are here to celebrate a birthday. I'm gazing up into snow covered, juniper laced ridges that have always had the ability to take my heart soaring. I'm beginning to ask for help again from the spirit world verses curse them. I'm asking the Creator to help us understand what this is about, though I don't expect an answer will come real soon. And I'm going to make sure that this Christmas Jim laughs more, cries when he must, and make this the best damn Christmas we've ever had.

I believe. I believe in Santa, and spirits and seeing Bald Eagles as being a good omen. I believe in magic.

Have a joyous day today, and believe in the magic that is in the spirit of today,


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