posted by Mary Lello, Saturday, July 4, 2009, 5:22 AM
July is a busy month for us with friends from the left coast visiting and Donna and Mark returning to vacation with us for 10 days. It's a good busy.
Jim continues to make slow progress, but it's progress just the same. PT seems to be helping him get a little stronger and he seems steadier when walking, though that right leg still doesn't want to bend at the knee and lift from the hip flexors in a normal gate. And the right hand doesn't seem to get any information from the brain regarding how to properly function. Many of you have sent me information about how the brain is resilient and has the ability to heal as well as make new connections. This is encouraging because sometimes we get discouraged. I think the hardest thing for JIm - besides not being able to do things for himself, by himself - is not being able to retrieve a word or thought. At times when he knows what the word is he is unable to say it. He just can't form the sounds. Yesterday he told me this really scares him and I reminded him that he will heal, that he is strong and has the ability to make all these new connections again. I've lined up a speech therapist to begin working with us after our vacation.
Me? I hit the wall pretty hard last week. I went for a bike ride and found that I truly had no gas. I've dipped pretty deep into my reserves and there isn't much left. Although that ride was not a hard ride nor very long I came home and felt like I had ridden 100 miles. I couldn't imagine trying to sweep off the deck, which was covered by oak leaves that my wicked retarded squirrels keep dropping as they try to build a nest up there. Nor could I even walk out and feed my crows even though they were talking to me. I was just done. Very difficult place to be when my man needs so much and my life is a wee bit demanding right now. But our dear friends Pete and Nikki arrived from California and stepped right into stride with what needs to be done here ... and so I was allowed to drop the ball just long enough to find my second wind, to recover a little bit of energy and get back into my own stride.
Fourth of July, Independence Day ... and Jim and I both long for a bit of independence in our lives ... we are working towards that even though it seems a long way off right now .... even though we can only trust that it will come again. Today I think we both need to hear encouragement, and so we really appreciate how so many of you send a note telling us that it's possible.
Have a safe and happy 4th everyone.
PS - I must add that our friend Art showed up to visit the day I was so empty and couldn't sweep the deck. He grabbed a broom and just started sweeping without any question or my even saying anything that day! Again I'm reminded of the "blessings dropping like blossoms" .... or Oak leaves .... all around us.