This morning I took a run in shorts and a t-shirt. Maine, in November, is not suppose to have balmy weather. It's a little eerie. This day is gray and threatens a change. A half mile from my house I realized I was running straight into the storm; the sky was black, the wind was picking up and I could see the rain up ahead. I told myself if I saw lightening I would turn around and sprint it home. But instead, I put my head down and kept running straight into it.
And this is too perfect for my life this week. There is a storm brewing for me around relationships. No, not my relationship with Dave nor is this about Jim; I am being called into my feminine power, asked to respond to the feminine relationships in my life. And as I turn to do this I realize I must settle into my own warrioress ... who tends to ask more of me than others, asks me to open my heart, to find strength in the compassionate and to be honest with myself.
I don't always like her ... she tends to be tough. She tends to be right. And she always teaches me something.
As I ran into this storm this morning I found myself opening up, lifting my bowed head and unfolding to the rain, the wind, the power. This is what I am being asked to do, to unfold and open myself up to receiving my lesson. To step into "not knowing"; a place of not needing to understand it all, not grasping any one emotion as the gamut floods through me of pain, disappointment, sadness, anger, confusion. To just let all this flow around me and through me and remain open to the wind and to listen for the information that may descend for me.
It's interesting that before this personal storm struck, my friend, Kim, called and asked me if I wanted to go see the psychic, Tracy. My niece, Molly, and I had talked about going to see Tracy again. I had not made the call, procrastinating even when I know it can take several months to get in to see Tracy. When Kim called and said there were back-to-back appointments if I wanted to go with her on Friday the 16th I thought, "well now, I guess I'm suppose to go sooner verses later." So I agreed.
And then my life's shit hit the fan.
I feel that even when the Universe slaps me around a little bit, putting challenges before me so that I might grab the lesson and, ultimately, to find growth in all of this, it also offers me tools that I may need. Perhaps, I won't have to figure all this out by myself this time.
Loving you all back,