I'm not sure what brought on this blue wave, putting my mind into this gloomy state. Our wedding anniversary was August 25th, but that day passed with only a little blip. I spent that day out on Casco bay with Dave and the "kids" - the young adults that are Dave's children and my niece of the same age. It was a gorgeous day and we had a wonderful time exploring Jewell Island; one of the Calendar island chain (so called because there are 365 islands in the bay - though some of these might be hard pressed to be called an island really). Jewell is one of the furthest out from Portland. I got thoughtful on our boat ride back to the town landing, but didn't share with anyone what was going on for me this day. Too personal, too old ... ancient history in some ways I guess.
I spotted a couple Harbor Porpoise cruising by in the opposite direction off our port bow. A nice visitation as I sat there starring at the water and sinking into my own thoughts and memories.
When I got home I looked up the spiritual significance of a porpoise (or dolphin, same family) coming into my life. Here's what I found; they are a reminder to us to swim freely into the waters of life and to allow our emotions to flow through us, to breathe into these emotions in order to release them. And to have a light heart and a joyful/playful attitude towards life.
Well ... pretty fitting.
So today I am not trying to label these emotions of sadness, I'm just trying to allow them to happen. I'm not trying to explain them away, I'm acknowledging that they are here. I'm willing to ride another wave of this melancholy feeling until it reaches a distant shore. I've learned to trust that I will be released from this gloom and I will turn and swim freely back into this sea of life.
Just to be clear, I am very grateful for this life of mine which continues to be filled with love and laughter and, mostly, a joyful heart .... and I go outside to play a lot!
Loving you all back,