As we pack and move things out of this house a song written by my brother-in-law, David Mallett,has been going through my head these days. The opening line especially:I knew this place, I knew it well,
every sound and every smell,
And every time I walked I fell
for the first two years or so.
David's song is about the family farm and being a boy growing up there. Not quite the same scenario for me and this house I've been in for 22 years, it's more the lure of this big body of water that I've watched the changing colors and seasons of my entire life.
As we embark on our next journey and move this new life to the mountains of Maine I am slowly getting hit with the reality that I will no longer have summers by the sea. I grew up in the foothills of these mountains, went to school there, spent the winters in the snow country in this small town in Oxford County. But summers were always back to the ocean and long, lazy days spent on Scarborough beach body surfing or exploring the tide pools. Except for the few years I lived in Colorado I have always spent summers by the ocean .... and "every sound and every smell" ... is deeply rooted in every cell of my being.
This is going to change.
People ask me if I'm excited, if I'm feeling sad, if I'm ready? Quite honestly this has been such a whirlwind that I haven't had time to stop and feel anything. This may be a good thing, but maybe not! I know I'm tired of packing and moving boxes, a tad worried about the disorganization we will have to live in for the next few months with all our stuff stacked high in the barn of the house we are moving to. I know that last waxing moon caught my breath as I was hit with the reality of just how much I love to see the moon on the water ... and this will no longer be my view.
One evening when that moon was full and spreading her silver light across the bay, spotlighting the boats in the harbor, I sat staring out at this amazing scene and started to cry. I turned to Dave and said, "we won't have this view in Farmington" ... "no", he said, "we won't. But I am going to build you a beautiful house on a hill that overlooks the mountains and we will be able to sit and watch the moon dance on the snow capped peaks."And with this I knew that this man loves me beyond this earth and all the way to that big moon!
And maybe home is where the heart is, in which case, with all this turmoil, all this upheaval, all these boxes and uncertainty ... I am home regardless.
Loving you all back,
Mary
Here are the lyrics to David Mallett's song if you choose to read. He is truly one of the best poets I know.
I knew this place, I knew it well,
every sound and every smell,
And every time I walked I fell
for the first two years or so.
There across the grassy yard,
I a young boy runnin' hard.
Brown and bruised and battle
scarred and lost in sweet illusion.
From my window I can see
the fingers of an ancient tree.
Reaching out it calls to me
to climb its surly branches.
But all my climbing days are gone
And these tired legs I'm standin' on
would scarcely dare to leave the spot upon
which they are standin'.
And I remember every word
from every voice I ever heard,
Every frog and every bird,
Yes, this is where it starts.
A brother's laugh, the sighing wind,
this is where my life begins.
This is where I learned to use my
hands and hear my heart.
This house is old, it carries on
like lyrics to an old time song,
Always changed but never gone,
this house can stand the seasons.
Our lives pass on from door to door,
dust upon the wooden floor,
Feather rain and thunder roar,
we need not know the reason.
And all these thoughts come back to
me like ships across a friendly sea,
Like breezes blowing endlessly,
like rivers running deep.
The day is done. The lights are low,
the wheels of life are turning slow
And as these visions turn and go,
I lay me down to sleep.
