Food, glorious FOOD (from the musical Oliver)

posted by Mary Lello, Sunday, January 4, 2009, 12:34 PM

I like to think that I will be able to sit down and write all the thank you's that are owed for the food stuffs coming in but I'm also a realist (sometimes! these times anyway) so I'm going to bang off a few notes here for the glorious, healthy food we are eating.

Last night we took down a huge pan of lasagna to contribute the incredible chicken dish Todd cooked. My gal-pal Chessell dropped this lasagna off to us our second night home. God, Chess, it was fantastic and everyone at the party went back for seconds - and there's STILL leftovers!!! I know this girl to bike, run, swim and finish Iron Man competitions in 12 hours and 3 mins (NO, I am NOT making this up!!!) but had I known she cook like this I would have insisted on a few more dinner parties at HER house long ago!!

Today for lunch we had an amazing soup that Leanne Bard brought over yesterday. Donna was sitting at the table before Leanne arrived and she said, jokingly, we should put the word out on the website that we need more soup. Leanne walked through the door within 10 mins. with a big pot of ..... ta-da ... SOUP!!! And it was really good. Thanks for cleaning out your 'frig sweetie and sharing this with us!

Kathy Palmer also made us an amazingly hearty, healthy stew for our first couple days home. We took the leftovers of this soup to the hospital and heated it in the microwave in the 'family kitchen' on the 6th floor for our lunch one day. I felt like we were getting waaay too good at camping out there at the hospital but this was the day Jim was discharged. The power of a good soup!!

Chocolate chip muffins from Tom and Gigi along with a whimsical palm tree that lights up at night to put some light on our deck stairs. Jim loves these muffins!! We all do! And the neighbors love the palm tree.

A care package from my friends in California, Maureen and Ted as well as Maureen's sister Kathy (who lives in Maine). Homemade apple sauce and a sweet bread that is to die for as well as 2 bottles of wine - not for Jim but the Lionesses sure love it!! I think I need to thank Kathy for the homemade things and Maureen and Ted for instigating the care package! OH and dark DOVE chocolates - because Maureen knows me soooo well!!

Cookies from Hanna and Eric which Linneah (their 2 y.o. - and my grandniece!) wanted to eat as soon as they walked in the door!

A lot of clementines have been brought to us. We will not be getting scurvy at least! Homemade frozen meals put into the freezer by the Jaffrays when they visited on Friday along with a pre-birthday carrot cake.

One of my sisters, Jayne, from Dover-Foxcroft along with her daughter (my niece) Molly stocked our 'frig, cabinets and freezer with quick and easy meals and munchies galore while we were spending countless hours at the hospital. You two did a FANTASTIC job with that!!!

Jane and Ronnie brought coffee after I had put out the word that I like Coffee by Design beans and they got it ground and mixed, well, by my design!! Along with the coffee came amazing croissants, scones and sticky buns. These 2 also had our dinner here and ready to put together the first night Donna, Stacie and I had to come home so late from the hospital after Jims surgery. Donna had asked if there was any wine at home and I had said, no I'm so sorry. But we walked in the door and there was pasta, sauce and a bottle of WINE!!

Chocolates and crossword puzzle book and an Obama pin from my friend Maura. We'll miss you in the 'hood sweetie but I'm so glad it is people like you down there in D.C these days!!!

And Donna and Stacie continue to be amazing support to both Jim and I. The house finally got vacuumed and the floors mopped today by Donna. And Stacie whipped around the kitchen with rag in hand and cleaned the kitchen up. Stuff like this just seems overwhelming right now but with 3 of us doing what we can when the energy hits it is getting done. All I can ask for.

Jim took a long walk up the Town Landing hill today and Pam from the Town Landing Market came out to say HI to him. Pam and Jim really love each other. I've seen Pam dissolve into a puddle of tears when she learned our old dog, Maya, was going to need to be 'put down' 9 years ago so there was no way Jim was going to get to the top of the hill and Pam not go out there and give him a hug! (I do not mean to compare Jim to an 'old dog'! Just trying to tell you the kind of person Pam, the owner of the store, is.... phew!)

From the top of the hill we walked to the bottom and out onto the docks at the town landing (this is our street, for those who don't know - and our neighborhood!) and then BACK up the hill to home. A really good walk for Jim right now, even though the athlete in him scoffs at it!

Blue bird day out there today. We hope you all are able to get outside and play,

Mary

Counting Days

Saturday 1/3/09

posted by Mary Lello, Saturday, January 3, 2009, 9:02 PM

I admit, I've stopped counting days. I'm also not sure that I will be able to keep this up on a daily basis once I get back to work but I KNOW that you will all understand. And I want you to also know that I WILL try to keep you all posted on what's happening here at The Pitt (as we call it).

We had a nice little celebration of Jim's birthday tonight with our 'family' right here in the 'hood - so Jim got to walk down to his birthday dinner and walk home. An uphill climb to bed ( Town Landing Road being what it is) which is good for his balance right now. It was a bit overwhelming for him but more because all this Love coming at us is just so incredibly wonderful and hard to take in. Breathe I tell him. Remember what Ian wrote about receiving and just 'refuel'. It is so very important right now and so incredibly huge .... and healing for all of us!!!

Jim crashed about 7:30 - which, again , was a milestone. He was so much stonger and better today then yesterday. But I realized that , hey, I'm still healthy - it's Saturday night and my friends are still playing down at that house! So Donna and Stacie were ready to call it a night, I put Jim to bed and I walked back down to just sit and have another glass of wine with friends and to talk about other things besides cancerous brain tumors ..... I need to take my healings too. It was wonderful for me and I also know it was wonderful for JIm. His friend of 30+ years, Gunnar Hansen came down just for a few hour from Northeast Harbor and his 'brother' Rob Hoover also came up from the Mass. border to celebrate the birth of Jim tonight. Great, great, great!

I spoke with another dearest friend of ours today, Chen Sun who lives in Rockland. She is the same age as my own mother (87... sorry Chensun but I adore your spirit at this age and have to brag about it!!) and she said to me today "Jim is like a son to me"... she has 5 children of her own as well as grandchildren. But I realized that THIS is the magic of this man. He doesn't 'make friends' he makes family! If you are in this circle - and obviously you are because you are reading this - then you ARE family to Jim. Period. I have always admired this in him and now I'm truly "getting it". Big time!

So I really feel I saw another giant step in his healing today. He was far brighter and more just JIm today when he was up. He had enough strength to take a walk this morning and sit with his friend Gunnar after his nap AND go down to the party tonight. And even though he tired quickly (it was a HUGE stimulation tonight) he was able to look at me and say " I think it's time to go home now" .... which is a big deal for him! To know that he had reached his limitations today was a good thing for me to hear from him (even though I knew it, but wanted him to know it also). And also for Donna, Stacie and I to see so much more of our Jim for more of the day was just really, really good. The healing is happening and I'm always amazed at this power, this spirit, of healing that truly exists in each and every one us.

We are taking life on a daily basis right now. Being in the "moment" is no longer just a saying here in this household, it is a reality. Not a bad reality but one I always thought I could attain without getting wumped so hard. I don't have the answer to this, but we are in the moment right now, it is what it is and in a few days we will deal with a whole new schedule of appointments for Jim, knowing the lab results and my going back to work - to be the healer for others that I know I am and to be present for others, which will be truly healing for me .... go figure! ... but it DOES work this way. My clients are as much of a healing force for me as I am for them. Partnership is powerful!

I also need to say that today was a quiet day and we needed that. I ALMOST got to vaccum the house. OK, it didn't actually happen but I saw a window where it could have happened! So please keep in mind that we DO want to see each and every one of you at some point but timing is everything. I hope to get the calendar up and organized with Jim's schedule soon (maybe a little bit of that up for tomorrow?) and be able to start understanding what our needs are. I know we have this amazing tribe waiting in the wings to be put into action. Trust me, you WILL be called on as soon as we can figure all this shit out!

We got some amazing CD's today that were burned for us from our friends the Harringtons and John Brautigan. I love the fact that these folks took the time to burn these songs with Jim in mind for each song chosen - and there are some great tunes and MY kind of artists chosen on these CD's (yup, retro/oldies work for me!) so I may just have to take the time to listen to these with Jim! Thank you guys for this!

It's very late for me now so I will say good night,

Thank you for filling our lives so full of this incredible power called LOVE (it's NOT just a 70's thing!) and please know that we are receiving it and we also so want to reflect it back onto you, and we do (partnership IS powerful!)

Love,

Mary

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PS

posted by Mary Lello, Friday, January 2, 2009, 7:10 PM

Sorry, I meant to tell all of you that we do not have the results back from the lab yet. Donna called our surgeons office today, Dr. Wilson, and they were closed. It is a holiday after all. So we will have the final word on Monday, we all hope.

But regardless, healing is happening everyday.

Good night,

Mary

Day 2

Mary Lello, Friday, January 2, 2009, 5:28 PM

We got some great news today from the Physical Therapist who came to evaluate Jim. After she worked with him on several tasks and spent a good hour or more with him she said she would classify his case a "mild". MILD!!!!!! WOW!!!! And this only 4 days after his surgery while things are still swollen and affecting so much. This was such good news. And Betsy was so wonderful. It also turns out that she is a dear friend to our dear friend Matthew Faulkner (who was here when Betsy arrived and so the connection) ... so the web keeps reaching out and connecting. Maybe the Universe IS still on our side!

The other good news we got about an hour ago is that Betsy has decided to keep Jim as her client vs. pass him onto some other PT person as she is more of an "evaluator" these days. She said she wants to see this one through - YAHOOZZY!!! We all really liked how direct she was, how positive and just how she works in general so this was also very good news.

Otherwise the day was very busy with people stopping by, the PT session and just making sure Jim is resting when he needs (this is ongoing) and eating when he's hungry (which is always).

The Lionesses are exhausted right now and looking forward to a quiet night, which, hopefully includes a good nights sleep! Tomorrow I plan to get outside and play and we have been told by Betsy that Jim needs to start taking some walks. So we need to really start focusing on how best to facilitate a daily routine that will include walks, napping, his mediation practice and meals.

Those of you asking when is it best to stop by - I can't answer that right now. I think we need to just take a bit more space so that Jim can get into a routine. He is going to get stronger and bored and will be more receptive to seeing all of you in x-amount of time down the road. For now, it's still best if you can call. Leave a message and we will get back to you.

I read Ian's message tonight aloud to Jim and we both were so touched by that. Ian, what an incredibly powerful writing. God, it hit such a strong cord in each of us - and of course got the tears flowing but that happens with a drop of the hat!!

Keep the messages and photos coming as Jim likes to hear me read them to him and he likes knowing how each and everyone of you is out there pulling for him. It hurts him sometimes because he wants to be the puller but Ian's message was heard and so, we will gracefully and gratefully recieve at this time.

Thank you all, we love you all so much,

Mary

First day home

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Mary Lello, Thursday, January 1, 2009, 4:25 PM

David informed me that I am the 'big honcho' and so I can write in this announcement space. Maybe THIS is why I am always wearing a crown David?

Our first day home has gone well. Jim is moving around and doing really well. Sleeping a lot, which is good and eating even more. His appetite is huge! We are trying to adjust to whatever schedule he needs at this time and figure out when his nap times need to be and this will help me tell you when visiting times will be best. But again, we're new at this so ....

We did have a little outing this afternoon after he slept for 2 hours. We went over to the Puelle's and equally dear friends, Mary Margaret (MM) and Todd joined us there. It was a safe outing as the Puelle's are "family" and their house is so familiar. Naturally Jim didn't want to leave but we could see that he was fading so the 3 Lionesses (as Donna has labeled Stacie, herself and I - is this correct english?) decided it was time for him to come home and he has sacked out on his day bed now (5:00pm). We're getting much better at knowing when he have to call it quits and he is getting better at accepting this.

We are in a 2 week healing time before any radiation begins. We will meet with those Dr's next Friday (1/9) to get the schedule. I do know that he will be going daily for 5 days/week and I also know that I need to go back to work next week so as we figure the schedule out and know how long Donna and Stacie can stay we will begin to fill that calender in with what's needed and then any of you who would like to assist with traveling or staying here with Jim can fill in your best times.

Man, just being able to say this and reach out to this community feels amazing. I'm so used to being the 'giver' that being on the recieving end is just a bit hard for me. So feel free to knock me upside of the head if I'm balking because we DO need help at some point!

We are also suppose to hear from the lab - maybe by tomorrow (Fri. 1/2 - my mothers birthday) - as to exactly what grade cancerous tumor we are dealing with. Jim is anxious for this information. It is still surreal for all of us that we are even fighting this battle but it's sinking in fast.

I shall keep you all posted. In the meantime Jim is enjoying looking at the pictures being posted. He hasn't quite got the attention span to actually read all your posts - but I do!!! When we have a quiet time and he is alert I will read all that you have written to him aloud for him. At least for now, until he can do that himself.

We love you all and thank you! (I can't say this enough so I will just keep saying with every writing!)

Mary